Undivided Heart Adventures

Radical obedience results in permanent change if you embrace the journey.

When I left the security I had built around “I am what I do”, I knew very little about the road ahead. (I wouldn’t have even acknowledged an issue at that point.) Honestly, I assumed it would be a short few months of rest and then back to work doing something.

The first month I learned what it meant to “Be Still and Know”. I sat in quiet, alone … a lot. (Shout out to one of my besties, Karianne, and her husband for navigating one of the more challenging months.) It took weeks for my brain to stop running the task list and the “what if” list. I had to slow down enough to allow myself to listen, both to the Lord and to my own heart.

The second month I spent with another bestie, Anna, and her family. There house is the exact opposite of Karianne’s. They have four active kiddos. It was the perfect place to practice what I learned that first month. I found that I was more present and available to embrace life with them while also carving moments of quiet with the Lord.

Month three was a breaking point and I had a choice to make. Would it be “my way” or would I embrace this journey in its fullness no matter what? Oh how I would love to tell y’all that it was a simple choice and I didn’t battle another level of surrender. But y’all know me better than that, right?

It wasn’t until the start of month four that I finally chose to fully embrace and surrender to this journey. And do you know what I found waiting on the other side of surrender? Jesus – in all His love, goodness and faithfulness with an invitation to fullness.

The next months were full of hard and beautiful moments of recognition, repentance and restoration. I finally acknowledged what I actually felt and thought about myself and with that came insight into the way I functioned in relationships and my work life. The light turned on in the darkest and most forgotten corner of my heart.

Learning and practice were followed by more layers of healing. Those were followed with more learning, more practice and more healing. It was a season of refinement. It included an opportunity for “family” and “home” that deserves an entire post of its own.

11 months after the start of this journey, I was on a plane to spend a month with my Costa Rica family; fully as a result of Sarah packing my luggage as I spent hours moving piles around my room. It was during that month that I realized how much I had changed. In the midst of unknown, my heart was quiet and full. I started to dream with the Lord. I was anticipating the “next” but fully trusted that wherever the Lord led I was going to follow. Whatever He asked, my answer would be yes.

Before I headed back to the states, I wanted to mark this season. I asked to be baptized and leave the old me under the waters and rise up embracing all the new. So one year ago, to the day, I was baptized in my favorite river by Pablo and his dad surrounded by family.

And here I am today… in Costa Rica. Living out one of the dreams that I desired a year ago!

So friends, what journey is the Lord asking you to say yes to? Whatever it may be, my prayer is that you would have the courage to obey and embrace the process of change, whether big or small.